Meet Ellen

How do you describe who Iona is to your friends? Your coach/teacher/guide/something else?

Honestly, I usually would just say “my... Iona.” 😂

Everyone meaningful in my life heard me talk about her constantly and therefore knew what she was about. I referred to her as a life coach, an inner work coach, a breathwork coach, a movement coach - she wore many hats during our time together.

But it all boiled down to the fact that Iona was the one helping me become me again. She was the guide that led me back to myself.

Why did you choose Iona? Why did it feel like a good fit?

My experience is that coaches act either like cheerleaders or devil’s advocates, but they never really have the depth needed to make lasting changes or support difficult inner work. They have broad offerings so that they can attract as many people as possible, but in doing so lack any sort of clear vision or specialty and can only peripherally support their clients. They don’t want to take firm stands with their beliefs or what they teach because they don’t want to alienate anyone.

Iona is a singularity in the coaching world. She is not afraid to say no to taking on clients that don’t want to do the work. She is extremely clear with her vision for her work and makes it clear to her clients what she can and can’t do for them. She takes concepts and brings them to life using her own vulnerability and experiences as well as a mix of gut-punching quotes, memes, and mantras peppered with swear words. Her content is powerful, but she also has an immaculate eye for aesthetic and design. She is a poet and an artist. It’s intoxicating to be within Iona’s sphere of influence. You just always want more.

I knew that I needed someone to hold an umbrella over my head while I waded through a lot of my own shit that seemed to be constantly raining down on me, but I also knew I didn’t want someone who gave me a false sense of hope by patting me on the head and saying that it would all be okay. It’s not always okay. It’s really hard. It’s painful. But having Iona acknowledge the pain and the hard work that I was doing was the best decision I ever made. Plus, if I could swear without any guilt, I was totally sold. Fuck yes, sign me up.

What has surprised or delighted you most about this work?

I’m truly surprised by how many doors have opened. I thought that by working through trauma and past experiences I would be closing a lot of doors from my past. Saying goodbye to those chapters in my life. But instead of shutting them out or ignoring them, they have been converted into flags and signals that allow me to better understand the way forward. I have so many more opportunities now that I know I’m not limited by my past.

I used to think I wasn’t creative because I was good at math and science. Now I’m writing a blog and a novel and have taken up painting as a hobby as well. I used to think that I wasn’t worthy of setting boundaries or saying no because I had to have people like me. Now I am unapologetic and generous about my limitations so that I can explore things that give me energy. I used to think that I wasn’t worthy of love because my body looked a certain way. Now I’m on the fast track to loving my body at any shape and exploring all of the fun ways that I can move her around in the world. All of the work that I’ve done with Iona has been additive, not subtractive, and that has really made all the difference in how I live my life.

How did you know you were READY to do this work?

I felt like something was wrong with my life but I didn’t know what it was or how to fix it.

1. I felt like my emotions were bullying me and I didn’t know how to take back control of them.

2. I felt like I was so focused on pleasing others that I had lost track on how to please myself.

3. I didn’t feel like I knew who I was anymore.

All of these feelings had stagnated my life and I couldn’t tolerate an unhappy life anymore. When I read Ghost, I knew that I could inherently trust Iona because she had found herself amidst similar circumstances. After stalking her Instagram account for a while, I knew that I was itching to do the work with her as my guide.

What has changed most in your life, work, and relationships since you started this work? What are those “pinch me” moments when you realize that you’re a totally different person?

I usually tend towards anxiety and can have really debilitating panic attacks when I allow my emotions and thoughts to turn into negativity spirals. Iona worked with me so that I could learn to better regulate my nervous system reactions to certain triggers by paying attention to my body, using certain breathing patterns, or making observations of the space around me. These tools would help get me out of my head so that I could actually become an observer of my emotions instead of letting them take the reins.

The biggest moment of “oh wow, holy crap, it works” happened near the end of our 1x1 coaching. I sent Iona a message via Voxer at the end of a rollercoaster of a week, laying out different intense emotions for each day: Monday was up-high-in-the-sky joy, Tuesday had a jealousy meltdown, Wednesday was full of heavy doubt while I reestablished boundaries, Thursday brought confidence through honest communication, Friday was back to excitement by finding total creative flow. I had the full gambit of emotions within such a small timeframe, but each time I felt something new, I wouldn’t fight it. I would sit with it. I would let myself feel it fully. And then I would sit back and tap into my curiosity.

I would shift to asking myself questions: “Where is this emotion coming from? What triggered this emotion? What is this emotion teaching me?” By asking these questions, and being brutally honest with my answers, I remembered that I am not my emotions. I AM NOT MY EMOTIONS. Emotions flow through me, they do not define me. It was absolutely freeing and it was so cool to be able to vocalize exactly what was going on to Iona and have my progress reflected back to me through her excitement and support.

Some emotions are still really big and not so easy to move through, but I know that I have the tools and confidence to make it through big emotions. Even if it takes more time and energy, I know that I can do it. By disconnecting my self-definition from my emotions, I am now free to explore who I am really am. Having my curiosity back has been life-changing.

What would you say to a woman who is sitting on the fence and needs to hear the exact right thing to say, “Let’s do this.”

You can’t logic your way out of this.

You know that something feels off. Things feel hard. Things feel heavy. Things feel confusing.

The way out of all of that is not through your brain. It isn’t through reading more books. It isn’t through thinking about it more. It isn’t through filling up gratitude journals and hoping we’ll suddenly feel better. It isn’t through following more people on Instagram who put heartfelt quotes about growth and trauma on top of colorful backgrounds made on Canva. And it definitely isn’t through bath bombs, vitamins, tea, or worry stones imbued with grounding energy (although I do really like a super smooth worry stone).

You can’t logic your way out of it.

You can’t logic your way out of it because feelings aren’t felt in our heads.

We are not brains on sticks.

Feelings are felt in our bodies. Trauma and emotions are stored in our bodies. The only way to work through them is with our bodies. You have to use your body.

I know that you might not trust your body fully. You might not trust it to move in the right way. Or feel the right way. Or look the right way. But your body knows what it’s doing. Your body wants to move and take action. It just needs someone to guide you to get back into it.

And that’s where Iona comes in. She will get you back into your body and out of your head. Her approach is 100% an embodied one, and her skill in getting your brain to work with your body is unparalleled.

If you want to feel better or different, it’s time to stop thinking about it and start moving towards it.

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